Last week

Wow, I've really fallen behind on updating the blog lately. But I'm sure you all will forgive me, since it's for a good cause. :-)

I've seen some very encouraging progress from Evan this past week-

1.) He's getting his other top tooth in, right next to the first one he was cutting a short while ago. This has made it a little more challenging to do certain things because he gets so fussy. But think how cute he's going to be when he smiles and shows off his four front chompers! :-) I love that stage.

2.) He is doing amazing on his speaking valve. Through trial and error, I've found that he does best when we put it on for 5-8 minutes, let him get his crying and choking over with, take it off again once he's just upset that we've put it on in the first place, let him catch his breath for a minute, stop crying, and then put it back on. That's when his cries become less "WAAAH!" and more "waah?". From there, we can leave the valve on for an hour, easily. He's smiling and playing, and trying out his new ability to vocalize. We haven't quite made our goal of 2 hours daily, but we're not far. After all that's what goals are for- if you don't reach a goal, you reassess, adjust, and continue forward. (my mother called me a bulldozer yesterday.... I really can't argue.)

3.) Oh, I am SOOO proud of Evan's sitting skills! He props up like a pro, and will correct himself very well when he overbalances. We hit our 10 minute mark. He's also showing more strength in his arms and back, and neck. This is from repeatedly getting him to try and pull up, lots more tummy time, and sitting up at every opportunity. We've also been trying to get him to try out more weight bearing. He does okay, but not where he would normally be at 9 months (he'll be nine months tomorrow). He's more interested in the bouncing sensation from me lifting him and lowering him toward the floor. But that's okay- being hospitalized for 8 months would put anyone behind, and I know Evan will do things when he's good and ready. My job is to show him what he could do and encourage him daily.

4.) EATING! Oh, you wouldn't think I would be excited about a spoonful of carrots and a few sips of water and formula, but BOY AM I! Yesterday, he sat with me at lunch, and I was able to get more in him than just tastes of this and that. It seems the eating is really where we struggle, but I will always be happy about inches of progress over nothing at all.

5.) Head turning- since we're doing better physically, I'm adding in another goal, which is to loosen his neck muscles up a bit. He's real tight on one side, which contributes to him cocking his head and still preferring to turn one way over the other. We're also stretching his oblique muscles (side abdominals) to encourage him to turn his torso instead of his whole body. This is a project we got from physical therapy.

This week, we have his 9 month check up, complete with shots.... I'm not too worried about that, since he's been such a trooper in the past about it, and I thank my lucky stars he isn't a child that has much of a reaction to immunizations. I got enough on my plate, quite frankly.

All in all, Evan is doing real well. As for me, I was getting just a tad bit stir crazy, having only left the house to go to doctor appointments and therapy once or twice a week with Evan. So I went and got groceries all by myself yesterday while Carl watched Evan. It's really strange, how anxious I got being away from Evan for an hour, after a month of always being with him. You would think I would lack that anxiety, since I wasn't with him for every hour for the first 8 months of his life.
I guess BECAUSE of that, I feel I need to be there for Evan every second. It's a guilt reaction, pure and simple, though there's no real reason for me to feel guilty. But I believe that when you have a sick child, it makes some of us feel guilty for wanting time to ourselves. But I know it's necessary for my own well-being to take an hour or 30 minutes here and there to give myself a break.

Time is really flying by- my baby boy will be 9 months tomorrow. Before I know it, he'll be a year old.

I admit, I mourn the loss of a normal infancy with Evan. Being a first time mother, I have nothing to compare it to, but I have seen other mothers getting to hold their babies after giving birth, getting to bond in those first precious months.... I just didn't get that. I had to work to hold him, 20-some-odd days after he was born, and to bond with him since he was so sick and so drugged for so long.

On the other hand, I'm so grateful that Evan is with us, and I get to be his momma, along with all it entails. I'm a lucky, lucky woman to have been given a child like Evan. :-)