Having never been to a Toys R Us before, I set off cheerfully in the late afternoon Thursday to pick out toys for Evan's birthday.
I say I did this cheerfully because I could not know I was about to experience what could only be described as the most heinous shopping experience ever in my life.
We walk in and I have one child in the cart. The other left to roam free. So far so good.
Until we came to the Thomas the Tank Engine train set and table.
Oh Toys R Us- why do you hate me so?
Now don't get the wrong impression- I love that Evan loves Thomas. He adores trains.
But a train set in a public place where a multitude of other children is asking for trouble.
We spent 30 minutes there.
He ran off other kids
Kayla wanted down to play, or so she made me believe, but it was only a ploy to get out of the cart and go tearing down another aisle.
Screaming ensued as I wrangled her.
Evan refused to leave the table. Or look away from it.
Finally after he swatted at another kid who got too close I swooped him up kicking and screaming a removed ourselves to the opposite side of the store.
Hoping to distract them sufficiently elsewhere.
Can I say thank you enough to Toys RUs fore configuring their store in what can only be described as a labyrinth? During our trek down aisles that were not clearly marked and dead ends, I half expected to come across a Minotaur. It probably would have improved the experience.
Luckily, I was able to follow the bread crumbs that no doubt were produced by my children and find the registers.
I just followed the loudest concentration of screaming. By children, by parents, I'm not sure, due to the temporary partial deafness that was the result of pulling my kids away, shrieking from every toy in sight.
Then I saw the lines.
Good Lord, I'm in Dante's Inferno.
I gave up. No toy is worth the aggravation.
Leaving the store holding two screaming, squirming children, Evan flailing about. Leaving the sounds of tormented souls behind.
Stay tuned for part 2 of my recent shopping experiences, wherein I discuss the travails of a mother in need of a kiddie leash.
