The work thing

Ever since Evan has had his trach removed, I have been looking for work again. It has nearly been a year since I left work (when Evan was born), and I have gotten to spend 4 months at home with him, one of which was without a trach or oxygen.
We've been very fortunate to get by on just my husband's income, but the financial crunch is starting to hurt a bit.
So I've placed my application with a couple of good leads, and hope for the best.

I admit that the thought of putting Evan in daycare is both exciting and nerve-wracking for me. Exciting, because he'll get to experience new things, to see other children on a daily basis, and have the opportunity to learn new things under the guidance of others. It's nerve-wracking because I barely want to leave him in the care of anyone else, including family. I'll miss my boy, and miss the time we spend together daily.

For myself, I have mixed emotions, as well. On one hand, I will really enjoy the mental stimulation of working again. I miss the interaction with others and the feeling of accomplishment at the end of a good day's work. On the other hand, OH WOW I'M GOING TO MISS BEING WITH EVAN SO MUCH!

The main thing that helps me is that lately Evan has been indicating he wants to explore more of his world, rather than be content to let it come to him. He wants to be picked up and walk around the house. He enjoys our trips to therapy and the doctor. We took him to the grocery store for the first time this weekend, and really enjoyed all the new stuff to look at and observe. He wants the stimulation of being somewhere new or previously unexplored.
So I think he will enjoy the new experiences in daycare, although I know he will miss me too. It will take some adjustment on both our parts.
But it will be well worth it in the end.
The main reason we stay at home all the time (beyond trying to prevent him from catching something) is that we're so broke every week. Even a trip to the zoo is outside our price range. Besides, it's so incredibly hot outside that taking him to a park, even early in the morning, is out of the question.

But when fall comes, with cooler temperatures, and me warning a steady paycheck, we look forward to being able to DO things again.

In other news, my little sweet pea has another surgery scheduled for August 14th. It's to repair his inguinal hernia and undescended testicles.
It should only take the day for him to recover enough to come home, so we're not anticipating staying at the hospital for more than a day, possibly overnight.
The good news is, this just might be the last surgery! Unless something happens when we remove the g-button, and it needs help closing, I don't foresee any other surgeries, minor or otherwise.

We are getting ready for Evan's first birthday, just a week and 1 day away. We have so very much to celebrate. Although I will never remember his birthday without reliving those fearful first days when we weren't sure I'd he would pull through, it can never overshadow the fierce pride and love I have for him, and the remembrance of how amazed I was seeing him for the first time. He's simply the most amazing person I've ever encountered. :-)

His actual birthday party will be at my grandparent's in my hometown 2 hours away on August 5th. I am looking forward to showing him off a little. No wires, no oxygen, no ventilator, and only the feeding tube.... It's going to feel good to have him adored by family, just like any other child.
It's been a long time coming.