Sometimes you gotta just go with it

There are days I am amazed at Evan's progress. And then there are others that not only do we see no progress, it's like we took a step back.
I suppose this is typical for any baby/ toddler. It just seems amplified in our situation because progress is so important for Evan.

Having him home is a wonder. At the end of the day (especially the more frustrating days), I still realize he's made a ton of progress in the almost 2 months we've been home. And the time has just flown by.

Still, it's sometimes hard to keep pushing and pushing every day for progress. It wears us all down.
I sometimes take a moment to sit back and contemplate what I very rarely allow myself to think about: what a "normal" 9-10 month old would be doing now.
It's a tough exercise. I immerse myself so much in our daily routines and goals that I sometimes forget where we WOULD have been at this stage, without the multiple complications to Evan's development.
Still, it's necessary to think about it, because it sets the bar higher and higher as we manage to make progress.
He's sitting up well, and grabbing toys, but we still have trouble with him trying sit on his own without propping up on his hands or something else.
He's rolling, and pushing up on his arms, even trying to rock when I set him into a crawling position. But he's still easily frustrated with it.
He eats a few spoonfuls some days like champ, enjoying his baby food and making huge strides. Other days, he vomits it back up, or flat out refuses to eat anything.
There are days that he is on the speaking valve for hours (spaced out through the day) with few issues, and others it's a struggle to have him on for 40 minutes total, even trying 3 times in a day.
I do my best to recognize his cues, to find some sort of reason why he's more tolerant some days, while others are more complicated. I track the amount of time and quality of his sleep, his feeds, all activities, playtime, diapers, temperatures morning and evening, baths, time spent on the speaking valve, or trying to eat, physical therapy, etc on an app for my phone- and I am meticulous in using it. I note changes in behavior, when I suspect a tooth to be coming in, how he reacts to things..... Everything I can think of to make it easier to identify what sort of routine works best in order to make progress steadily.

And at the end of the hardest days, I'm left with one conclusion: Sometimes you just gotta go with it.
I can't compare Evan's progress with the typical 9-10 month old. He isn't. And it's not fair to him or myself to try. Evan has his own way of doing things. He's a force unto himself. With all the progress he's made over all this time, I only take credit for 25% of it. Because he does best when you show him something, some exercise or action, and allow him to initiate it after that on his own. I can keep trying and trying to gently force progress, or I can go with the flow, and let him tell me when he's ready to try something new.
It seems like a simple thing. I guess sometimes, it's hard to see the simple things, when everything has been so complicated for so long.