Wow, it's AH-Mazing having a newborn home with us.... This is probably helped by the fact that Kayla is a champion sleeper, sleeping amazingly well for a newborn. And what a contrast! I was so terribly miserable and sleep deprived for the last few months, my doctor immediately noticed a difference in me at our two week postpartum checkup yesterday. How ironic that I get more sleep after the baby has arrived than I did before.
It has been emotional for me holding this tiny little baby next to me almost every hour if the day- it has gone a long way to healing so many of the emotional scars left from Evan's first few months. I've done everything I could since he was born to be everything I could possibly be to him. I took on his care with a fierce determination to have a good rapport with him, to let him know he was loved and to care for him as we'll as any mother could care for a child, healthy or not.
Because of the struggle I remember from the first few months with Evan, I keep asking myself "Can it really be this simple?" Not that parenthood in any way shape or form is simple... But I keep looking over my shoulder thinking surely I'm missing something here- this is going way too smoothly, I MUST be doing something wrong and not realizing it!
Of course, when I have a quiet house like I do at this moment, when both my children are napping (Evan in his bed, Kayla on me), I am hard pressed to find any fault.
Evan has been adjusting. It hasn't been easy, and my heart aches for him when he gets upset about Momma's lap being taken by his baby sister.
On the other hand, his expressions when she is crying are FANTASTIC.
Finally, though, I feel like we're striking a good balance between giving Kayla what she needs and Evan what he needs. He has resumed eating orally, which is such a relief. He's enjoying real foods, so mostly I feed him off my plate- which kills two birds with one stone because I frequently get too busy and forget to eat, so if he is eating what I eat, I'll HAVE to make time to get something for myself. Ha-HA.
We'll have good days and bad days, but one thing I'm confident in is that my babies will be loved always and will know it every day.
We're doing okay.
